It's funny how things don't matter very much until they're almost gone. It's that tip of the finger feeling...that... it's almost over stress. I'm going to miss SUA. I'll only be gone for three months but alot of us will be seperated for the seemingly endless length of a year. I want to get everyone together for a group hug. For a group "I love you." I want to remeber the way these last days feel so I don't forget why I love SOKA so much. Boundless hope.

He has a relationship now. And it's tearing me apart. I don't know why I sat there and let him tell me that thier distance would only make thier bond stronger. Why do I keep talking to him about my life. It will never be entangled with his, engulfed in his eyes. He cares about someone else and I am screming ten thousand screams inside minute after second. And it seems like the screams will reach to the end of eternity, because that's how deep the oceans are. The past has known us before and I've known this pain before. It's called disapointment. It's called endless love unreturned. I always thought I would be a piece of his puzzle, but I'm not even a crack in the finished product. And I'm dying minute after second. And I'm sorry I Iost something that was never mine.