Yesterday I had my heart ripped out and stomped on. Today, I am desperately trying to shove it, battered, back into my chest. Oh, what we do for love.

I found another grey hair today. Well, it's more silver than grey, but that makes it no less disturbing for me. My sister was with me when I discovered it, and said to me, "well Ellie, what do you expect. You ARE almost thirty." Thanks Stephanie, that was very reassuring.

I've noticed that I have less and less to write.  But, it's because more and more of what I want to say is spoken, out loud, to the people who I want to hear it.

I don't want to turn 26.  Something about that age makes me want to throw up, because, OH MY GOD, I'm almost 30...

I'm back at FNCC.  This is my third trip.  And it's apparent that something is missing...but I'm glad its gone...my angst.  The first two times I made this trip to Florida, I was a hot mess.  It might be that I'm still a hot mess, but I don't feel nervous about it. I don't feel anxious.  I just feel appreciation that I'm here and learning.  Maybe adulthood isn't so bad.  If it means learning to live in the moment, than I'm all in; 100%.