Friday, August 20, 2004

There are so many things in this world I don't understand. There will never be an end to my education. Life, I'm sure, will continue to supply lessons, whether I want them or not.

I don't know much about math, or what it means to live life to the fullest. I still have so much to learn about appreciation and doing things for others happiness. Most of the time I don't know when to keep my mouth shut, and the Spanish I once knew is slowly slipping into oblivion.

I can't understand the stage of life many of my friends have entered into, one where they know who they want to marry and have someone so important in there lives they never want to let go. I don't know about my own heart, I don't know how to love someone deeply, I don't know how to let go of my fears, and I don't know how to stop making the same mistakes over and over.

I do know, however, that if my life continues in the direction of depression, I will be lost. I do know that if I can't wade through the crap in my life to clear water, Things inside of me will shrivel and die and my soul will become malnourished. I do know I want to change and the more years it takes to change, the longer I wait to change, the harder and more impossible it's going to be.

Walk this journey with me and don't hold me back.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

It's quiet. I miss my sister. I want to make my capstone excellent. He haunts me. My insecurity level has gone down to a 5. Many days, many hours to make my last year worth it. I'm not going to cower. I'm the most passionate about people who've been forgotten. I'll remember you.