I even made a list of the pros and cons for going to or not going to SF, and the cons won. So I'll see you all in a few weeks and please enjoy your trip!

I'm really confused. I'm more confused right now than i've been in years. Soon I have to be this adult, and I keep thinking about all of the realities of that. I will have to somehow pay for grad school. i'll need a place to live. i'll need a job that pays more then 7.10 and hour. I'll need friends and love and acceptance in a city that's never really given me those things, and I'm staring to freak out.

I feel really nervous. I look around at the adults in my life and can't help but shudder. My dad is still struggling to make a living with no possible means of retiering. My mom is 56 and happy on the good days. My stepdad struggles daily to fight years of built up bad habbits. My co-worker Patty is in her 50's and hated her three week vacation because she had nothing to do, no friends to visit and her days were empty and boring. I'm so scared that my life won't go as planned. That, before I know it, I'll be 57, not have accomplished my goals, and have only a yellow tabby cat to comfort me...