Costa Rica

She tells me as we sit in the sushi restaurant that she's terrified to go back to cali. 'Changing lives" she chants randomly. I repeat, "changing lives." But I don't really mean it, becuase i've never wanted to be in cali more then I do right now.

Flash to July:

Now I'm terrified to go back to cali. And it's just this feeling that has set up shop in the pit of my stomache. What will it be like to see the people who I love but who have had experiences without me that have changed them for life. Will we sit at the lunch table together in uncomfortable conversation trying to make it work.? Can I stay sane with his continual presence? Will I actually break through all my shit this year? What the hell will i do after soka?

My whole summer has been focused on saving money...check with me and if I don't have $1400 in August you can all use me for a while as your personal punching bag. No more washing my underwear in the sink.

Andy, I'm really proud of you...for letting go.