I don't know who or what I'm hating right now. Probably myself. I feel sick with worry. I'm mourning the death of my relationships. Can I really revive them? Can I really work this out? It's about time I cried. The tears are there just on the outside of reality. Soon. I feel more lonely then I have in years. No one to connect with every night. I haven't talked seriously about my feelings for this year to anyone, and who is there, are you out there? It's not about "I" it's about what we can do together. But doesn't it seem easier to go into yourself and hide, hide, hide...