My uncle seems to think I need a therapist. Get my head straight, get my head right. I tend to agree. I need a life makeover. I need to check my arrogance. Dead. Tracks. At the door. It's interesting how I think that everything and everyone is against me, but really I'm against everything. I don't know how to let myself trust and that's the end all be all to all my problems. I can't trust boys, I can't trust my dad, I can't trust the SGI, and the real problem is that I can't trust myself. So how do you let go? How do you stop comparing yourself to others? It's so much easier to feel sorry for yourself, to stroke your own ego, to put others down. When I look deep into my life, I don't see a pure green like life, like the trees, like grass, like the leaves of flowers. Instead, I see grey, like stone, like death, like the cracked sidewalk near my house. I need to start excepting responsibility for the changes I want to make. No one is going to change to make me feel better. I have to do that for myself. I have to paint my own life green like the leaves of flowers, blue like the oceans ebbing and flowing.